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Gambler
- Find a fake white beard and wear it while you're having
sex. When she's getting really into it, start singing Kenny R*gers' Gambling Man
(recommended singing loudly) and do these positions:
1) You gotta know when
to hold 'em.... Grab her tits and SQUEEZE hard
2) Know when to fold 'em....
Pinch her pussy lips together even harder
3) Know when to walk away... "Donkey
punch" her
4) Know when to run... Do the "Stranger" and
jizz on her face, steal $20 bucks out of her wallet and crawl out the window so
she wakes up sticky, broke and confused. - James, Oregon
Gamblin' and Losin' (aka "Dutch Treat") - The unexpected result of a "Dutch Oven" gone bad. - BDogg, Pennsylvania
Gallagher - Convince a girl to have sex with you without a condom (a girlfriend on the pill would be the easiest solution). When the time arrives, cum inside of her. As she lays there, satisfied, soaking in your manpipe, reach under the bed and produce a large, novelty-sized mallet. Proceed to hit her in the stomach with it as hard as you can. This will cause your spew to explode out of her and splatter the first six rows. Make sure the audience has their plastic covering, and a wacky good time will be had by all! - Alex, California
Gap
- 1) The act of sucking a girls clit through the gap in your teeth and proceeding
to whistle the Andy Gr*ffith theme song while fingering her asshole.
2) When
you pay a lot of money for a nice looking pussy (or other orifice) but when you
try it on, it doesn't fit well.
Garbage Disposal - When you are fucking her is the ass, and then you slap her on the back like you are turning on a light switch. Pull out your meat bus and then cram it down her throat 'til the "Garbage Disposal" is clean. Then clean her up with your white ivory soap. - Gene F, Oregon
Gardener - when you are doing a girl from behind, you pause and yank the hairs (weeds) from her asshole, then you proceed to "sow your seed" by cumming on her anus.
Gary C*leman - You try and give it to her up the butt for the first time. She ain't lettin' you, gives you a scowl, and replies: "Whatchu talkin' bout Willis." - Mr. Blue, Minnesota
Gas
Mask - 1) While doing the "San Fran Tickler", fart in her mouth.
- KEEB07
2) When a guy squats on a girl's face, and puts his dick in
her mouth, his sac goes across the bridge of the nose, and a ball goes over each
eye. - The Phynn
Gaylord P*rry - Going to only one knuckle during an anal probe is for wimps. Make a famous knuckle-ball pitcher proud and use multiple digits on that virgin corn hole. A minimum of 2 knuckles required (either on one finger or on multiple).
GecHo - The act of rubbing sand in one's rather loose anus in order to increase friction, and the enjoyment of one's male counterpart. - Ima, Canada
Gene Simm*ns - When you eat a chick out while she's on her period, then you stick out your tongue and spit out the blood. - Snow, Columbus
Gentleman-style (see also "Doggystyle", "Donkey-style") - He helps push in her stool...
Gerbiloon - When you fill a gerbil with helium and stick it up a chick's ass. - Will S, New York
German Chocolate Cock - Per the famous, delicious dessert of a similar name, ram your member into an unsuspecting German female's mouth, and whilst squatting over her torso yell "Sheitza!" and release a hot, muddy loaf on her chest (the cake). As she gags on your jones, pull out and spray copious amounts of your hot, steamy cream (the icing) atop the lumpy chocolate colored residue while yelling "Blitz Krieg!". Add 2 sporks and enjoy! Don't be greedy, invite her deranged Euro friends over in the corner to come and share an after-dinner golden shower! Das lecker, ya? - Dr. Dilznik, DC
German Thumb - While doing a chick doggystyle quickly jam your thumb up her ass.
Getting Ahabed (see also , "Bunkbed Buccaneer", "Walking the Plank", "Shark Feeding", "Rollover", "Herman M*lville", "Red Beard", "Treasure Chest", "Ahab's Revenge", "Francis Dr*ke", "Land Lubber") - After being capsized by the white whale (undergoing a "Herman M*lville"), you lose a leg after it is crushed by the falling bed. - McWopper, Mr. President, Squanto, Ling-Ling, Wilcro, Big Ju and the rest of the A-team
Ghiradelli Square - No, not a famous landmark in San Francisco, but, instead, a relative of the "Dirty Sanchez". Here you smear the fecal matter of your loved one in the form of a square around her mouth, giving the appearance of a chocolate square. - Wristwatch
Ghost and Gobblin - To be done in a "69" position. Your partner needs to be dressed as a ghost. While she's the ghost, you are Gobblin'. - Greg K, Indiana
Ghost Bustin' - The act of looking for crack rocks while you're surrounded by the police. - Scott, FL
Giving the Cat a Bath (see also "Dog in the Bathtub") - The act of trying to insert your testicles into a girl's asshole, this is very hard to do, hence "giving the cat a bath".
Glass Boat (see also "Pittsburgh Platter") - Cover her face with plastic wrap and take a dump. - Wadtron
Glazed Donut Face - What occurs the morning after eating box. You then proceed to peel it off your face and throw it at her like a Frisbee. - Spaceman, New York City
Glazed Ham (aka "Big Kahuna") - When approaching orgasm during anal, you pull out, place a pineapple ring around her brown eye and a cherry in the hole. Then glaze the ham - all ready for Easter dinner!
Gnord - The space between your nutsack and your left leg. ("Farge" is the space on the right). - Mike R, North Carolina
Goalposting - In the missionary position, you pull both her legs up and rest her ankles on top of your shoulders, so they are like goal posts. More flexible women can enjoy this for a longer period of time. - cs1111
Gobstopper - When a girl is givin' you head and when you're about to bust a nut she covers the hole of your penis thus blocking the cum from cummin' out. - xzibit22687
Godfather - While doing a girl doggystyle, you shove your pinky in her stink eye. Pull it out and put it in front of the girl and tell her to "Kiss the Ring". - John, Bill and Erin
Gold Rush - Whilst digging up the hershey highway you get a nugget of sweetcorn stuck in your jap's eye. - Prone, London
Golden Gate Bridge - This involves a woman lying down (probably a hooker). Two guys stand at either end of her, pull out their cocks and proceed to both urinate arcs of piss into the woman's naval area - hence creating a mock "Golden Gate Bridge" - Neil G, New York
Golden Hurricane - When a chick is sleeping near a fan. Slip behind the fan and proceed to piss into it. The fan will blow the piss all over the chick. - The Hetzels, Neptune NJ
Golden Seashell - Placing your ear to a woman's arse to see if you can hear the sea. Sounds like a strong southerly breeze if she farts. - Ben H, Australia
Golden Shower (see also "Water Sports") - Any involvement of urine in sex
Golfer - While your woman is passed out from getting nailed a few times, whip out your schlong and aim your yellow stream of piss into her open & snoring mouth. - Gavinvl
Gonzo
- A type of porn film where there is no script and the guy behind the camera
often takes place in the action. Often staged but always appear to be amateur
flicks. Popularized by the porn filmmaker, Seymore Butts. - Travis, Ohio
2) Where you get behind a girl when she's laying down, put your nuts over her
eyes, then lay your dick over her nose, thus creating the loveable puppet character.
- Tyloar
3) Taking your rocks and throwing them over the penetrator
then flattening them against a window. Tada! Gonzo!! or for those less endowed
you can call it the "Cammilla". - Shane, Cincinnati
Gorilla Mask - Shave off you pubes prior to sex, when ready blow a load all over her face, do so, then throw your pubes all over your jizz. voila....the pubes stuck to her face will cause her to resemble a gorilla. - xdan666x Ohio
Goo Geyser - (aka "Old Faithful") Shoot your load in a girl's belly button, once it is full press on her stomach making the load shoot out like a fountain... hence "Old Faithful". - Mikey M, Brooklyn
Goodness Gracious, (Great Balls of Fire) - When you take a handful of Icy H*t and slap it on your balls. Then you dance for your girlfriend while singing "Great Balls of Fire". - Killer Kowalski, Arizona
Graffiti - Have sex with a married / engaged girl, when she falls asleep write embarrassing, X-rated remarks (or something like "This bitch belongs to John") on her back with a big bold permanent marker. She goes home and has the "where the fuck were you" fight. Later that day, when she showers the boyfriend / husband sees your graffiti and the fight starts all over again. For that matter the fights will continue for the next two weeks. This works even better when a girl does it to a guy.
Grandma's Tongue - This requires a decent sized nut sack. Simply bunch up the loose skin of your sack between your thumb and index finger (kind of like how a magician wads up a hankie in his hand and pulls it out slowly, the wang should be tucked to the side). Your bean bag should resemble an old lady's tongue with a little hair on it. Next, with your nana's tongue in hand, walk over to your buddy sitting on the couch and "lick" him on the ear, then say "You just got a kiss from Grandma" - The Hag Nutz, Florida
Grandpa Joe - You say something really quietly to an old man, and when he leans towards you with his hand cupped over his ear, you slap him in the face and ram your dick into his ear until it comes out the other one and then take his dentures and put them in your own mouth and yell "that'll teach YOU, ya old bitch". - Jill, Julie, and Evan, Massachusetts
Gravel Pit - When a chick lets her arm pit hair grow out just enough to where it is prickly.. then you stick your dick there.. let her clamp her arm down and fuck her arm pit. - Steck, Indiana
Gravy Boat - When having sex in the toilet stall of a public washroom, one man sits on the toilet, the other stands with his feet concealed in a large shopping bag (the "boat") -- so anyone peeking under the stall will only see one pair of feet. - Romalo, Alberta
Gravy Sliding - The act of partaking in anal sex, diarrhea optional... - JS, Santiago, Chile.
Grazer - The dirty old man trying to pick up girls that are 20 years younger than him. - Zack, Canada
Greasy Jefferson - First, you fist a girl / guy in the pooper and when you are done and she / he turns around, you smack her / him in the face. - Brian, John, & Johnny - Florida
Greasy Spoon - This is when you are banging a girl while spooning (laying behind her while you're both on your side) and you pull out, blow it all over her back, and proceed to give her a bear hug, squishing it all over both of you. - Sarah
Green Giant - When you are banging the local skank in Cancun in the ass, pull out, smother your dick with guacamole, stick it in her mouth, and scream "ho ho ho, Green Giant". - Azod & Steve, New York
Green Mile - You hold a cucumber in your mouth while your lady rides it so you can see her lips in a close up shot. You can jack off at the same time if you fancy. - Jward
Grilled Cheese - When a girl lets cum dry in her overnight, the next morning she has to peel her pussy apart to piss, it looks like she is peeling apart a grilled cheese sandwich. - Beaner, Pennsylvania
Grim Reaper - A man or woman who has at least five STD's and by sleeping with them you have basically killed yourself, thus they are the "Grim Reaper". - Deuce B, New York
Grimace - The open mouthed, taken back look she gives you after giving you a rimjob. - Mr. Blue, Minnesota
Grudge Fuck - The act of banging an ex, bitch or chick that annoys you in order to fix her attitude. - Slutino, New York
Grumpkin
(see also "Blumpkin") - 1) Receiving head while on the toilet. -
John Rudnik & Mike Janor
2) You're fucking a girl in the ass. When
it's time to blow your load, do so in her pooper. After blowing it, quickly pull
your dick out and plug her asshole with your thumb. Here's the fun part, while
she is on all fours and your thumb is in her ass, move to the side of her. Now,
make a fist and punch her in the stomach while simultaneously unplugging your
thumb from her ass. Watch in wonder as your hot load shoots out of her asshole.
- Death Rowe, Pennsylvania
Grumpy Munchkin - Trying to have sex with a flacid member. - Flossy B, Michigan Grumpy Turtle - 1) The act where in a man is entering his partner (male or female) from behind anally (preferrably for this maneuver, against the partner's will). He grabs them by their shoulders, bears down and attempts to hold them on his member as they will obviously struggle to get off. This causes the male to appear as the shell, the partner (with a scrowl or unhappy look on their face) the turtle trying to come out from their "shell". 2) The act of having sex with a flacid member.
Grundel (aka "Taint", "Choad", "Chode", "Dirty Inch", "Nacho", "Scranus") - The flap of skin between your ass and your nuts / pussy. - JD
Grundle - The flap of skin between your ass and your genitals, aka "Taint".
Gum on the Leg - Scrote stuck to inner thigh. - 1114 SoFo
Gumby - When your elderly wife takes out her dentures and gives you a blowjob with her soft and warm gums.
Gunt (aka "Fupa", "PBP") - When the gut overlaps the cunt. - Chopper, Nebraska
Gurp - The hairs located on the "Taint". - Mike R, North Carolina
A - B - C - D - E - F - G - H - I - J - K - L - M - N - O - P - Q - R - S - T - U - V - W - X - Y - Z - Thesaurus - TOP
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The attitude, opinions, and acts described in The Glossary of Perversion are not the opinions or feelings of Get Offended.com or it's staff, blame the assholes who submitted them. Also if you are an idiot, moron, or have an IQ less than 30 please don't read on. We don't want to get blamed for some stupid shit trying any of the following on anyone else. Consider yourself warned.