Glossary of Perversion L

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DO NOT READ THE FOLLOWING UNLESS YOU ARE AT LEAST 18 YEARS OF AGE AND ARE NOT EASILY OFFENDED!
The terms in the following Glossary are for amusement only and should in no way, under any circumstances, carried out or attempted on anyone or anything!
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L A - B - C - D - E - F - G - H - I - J - K - L - M - N - O - P - Q - R - S - T - U - V - W - X - Y - Z - Thesaurus - TOP

Land-Lubber (see also, "Bunkbed Buccaneer", "Walking the Plank", "Shark Feeding", "Rollover", "Herman M*lville", "Getting Ahabed", "Red Beard", "Treasure Chest", "Ahab's Revenge", "Francis Dr*ke") - Fall prey to a "Rollover", a "Herman M*lville" style white whale capsizing, "Walking the Plank", and "Getting Ahabed" in one night. - McWopper, Mr. President, Squanto, Ling-Ling, Wilcro, Big Ju and the rest of the A-team

Landshark - You take the chick and place her slightly bent over with her arms spread out, pushing against the wall. (She may want to wear a bicycle helmet and wrist pads to protect herself). You then clear a passage way to the girl by moving all of the furniture out of the way. You go to the other side of the room and proceed to put both of your hands over your head in the shape of a sharks fin. Then you sprint across the room as fast as you can, still with your hands making the sharks fin above your head, and ram it into the chick's ass.... hence the "Landshark". - Matt J, Massachusetts

Laptop Letdown - Blow your load on your girlfriend's keyboard, then eat a dill pickle. - The Trial & Error Crew, Virginia

Larry H*lmes - Find some old, rich ice queen. Woo her. At some point during coitus, preferably in the doggystyle or girl on top position, begin popping her floppy tits like they were two punching bags. As her struggling to get away from you and effort to dial 911 increases, deliver the knockout "Donkey Punch" to the back of the head (or to the face, depending on position). Finish by stealing her biggest diamond necklace and parading around her neighborhood while holding it above your head like a title belt. Named after the boxer who¹ll fight until he¹s seventy. - McWopper, Mr. President, Squanto, Ling-Ling, Wilcro, Big Ju and the rest of the A-team

Lasagna - "Lasagna" is eating out a fat chick who is both on the rag and suffering from a nasty yeast infection. After you eventually stick it in the hog and blow it all over that axe wound, you add the mozzarella. - FFS

Laskerbation (aka "Web-Job") - The act of using the webbing between your fingers to masturbate. - The Students of Maryvale High

Last House on the Left - (for the ladies) The act of biting your boyfriend¹s dick off. - Monica P, Tennessee

Last Mohican - When you're doing a girl doggystyle and she's on the rag, you reach around and pull the bloody tampon out of her pussy, slather the blood all over your face and yell like a wild Indian...you have now become the "Last Mohican". - John B, South Carolina

Last Supper - When a girl won't give it up cause she's too religious, you tell her you're religious too, take a shit in your hand, break it, and shove it in her mouth.

Lawn Mower - While you are munching box, bite onto her pubes and rip them out like a lawn mower cutting grass.

Leading Off Second (see also "Baseball Rules", "First Base", "Second Base", "Third Base", "Rounding Third", "Reaching Home", and "Home Run") - Dating status recognized (by popular recognition) from the couple have reached "Second Base" and also one (or both) of the couple have reached orgasm.

Leak Check - When three guys fill up every hole on a chick... make sure there are no leaks. - R. Nixon, WY

Lemon Zinger - Dropping your balls in lemon juice prior to dropping a "Teabag". This of course will make the "Teabag" recipient pucker up on the teabagger's balls. - Dr. Bungus & Ricky Deeznutz

Lenk (We don't suggest you try this one, could result in jail time) - After getting oral from a girl who won't let you bone her, you slit the unsuspecting girl's throat and start fucking the wound. - The Students of Maryvale High

Leonardo D*Caprio - You are getting head from a girl. She is sitting in a chair, you are standing. Just when you are about to cum, lean forward putting all your wait against her mouth. Stretch out your arms and yell "I'm the king of the world" - Big Daddy Markowitz

Let it Snow - When getting a blowjob, pull out and blast her in face while shrieking, ³Let it snow² three times in harmony. - McWopper, Mr. President, Squanto, Ling-Ling, Wilcro, Big Ju and the rest of the A-team

Let's Play Dracula - Trick a girl into Halloween shenanigans by making her, "Vant to suck your Cock" till it bleeds. - Col. Von Noodle, Brooklyn

Lethal Slimer (see also "Slimer") - Blowing your wad in her face and in her eye. - Nolan, Ohio

Lib*race (see also "Candlabia") - Go out to a store and purchase several small candles. Then hide them near your favorite sex spot along with a lighter. As you're doing it doggystyle with her face down, get the candles, light them and insert them into your girl's pooper (make sure to insert the base of the candle, NOT the wick!) CAUTION - Don't have a lot of belly hair - OUCH!. - Sick Johnny, Chicago

Lifeguard - Where you knock out a hot lifeguard at the top of a very long slide and proceed to hump her all the way down and finish before the bottom, then you act like you saved her. - Tito n Audiba, Colorado

Lift-Off - When a girl is taking it in the ass while on top of a guy and farts so hard that it pushes her off of his dick.

Lighting the Tunnel (aka "Lite Br*te") - While having sex with your woman sticking a lit glow stick in her asshole. - Shawn T

Lights Out - Do a girl from behind in a room with only one lamp. Just as you¹re ready to give her the juice, grab the lamp and smash it over her head, hence "Lights Out". For added fun, get a bunch of strangers to run a train on her while she¹s either still unconscious or not fully cognizant. Make sure the lights remain off. - McWopper, Mr. President, Squanto, Ling-Ling, Wilcro, Big Ju and the rest of the A-team

Limp Dick - As previously rumored, "Limp Dick" was thought to be a slang rip off of "Limp B*zkit", but was nothing on that topic. "Limp Dick" occurs when a "Canadian Handshake" is performed, leaving the penis of the man, useless and all scored out. - Benjamin G, Pennsylvania

Lipstick - This is a bestiality move that is performed when a dog gets excited and his red thing comes outside of his penis. A woman grabs the dog's penis with her fingers and rubs it against her lips. Optional Variation: She can powder her nose with the dog's ball sack. - Brian, Pennsylvania

Liquid Debutante - Right after you cum in a condom you tie it up in a bow in her hair. - Jward

Lite Br*te (aka "Lighting the Tunnel") - While having sex with your woman, sticking a lit glow stick in her asshole. - Shawn T

Lithuanian Toilet Paper (aka "Marie Gastritis") - When a girl is giving you a "Blumpkin" or just a regular blow job, and you take a shit, you turn around and wipe your ass with her face.

Little D*bbie - Similar to the "Dirty Sanchez", only the head of the recently butt-fucking penis, (with the required chunk of half digested butt brownie on it) is used to create the mustache on the unwilling victim. - Mark M, Kansas

Little Man in the Boat (aka "The Little Man in the Canoe", see also "Budgie's Tongue") - Euphemism for the clitoris. The Clitoris is the ³little man² and the pussy is the ³boat².

Little Man in the Canoe (aka "The Little Man in the Boat", see also "Budgie's Tongue") - Euphemism for the clitoris. The Clitoris is the ³little man² and the pussy is the ³canoe².

Lloyd Br*dges - When she's giving the head job and you're just about to blow, twitch and yell "Who is it?" She will look around. Blow in her ear. She will look confused, and will jerk her head repeatedly to one side, just like Lloyd Br*dges did to get the seawater out of his ear in Sea Hunt. (For those too young to remember, he was a crime-busting scuba diver).

Log Floom - Balance a half pipe of gutter into a persons mouth, one person pisses down the tubing whilst another person dumps their log into the yellow stream that travels into the lucky receiver's mouth. - Prone, London

Log Ride - (Usually done with 2 males) Both partners spread their cheeks and press both stinkers together. Then one of the partners defecates while the other receives. If both partners defecate, its known as "log wars". - Daren M, Nevada

Long John Silver - Don't jerk off or fuck for a week. Call your girl over and tell her you miss her and that she should get to "singin' into the mic" right away. When you're about to cum, yank your hose and put out the fire in either eye. This should help her to resemble the famed pirate. - JDAVO, Staten Island

Lord of the Ring - When a chick tells you that you can fuck her anyway you want, allowing you full access to whatever position or hole (ring) you want. Also, when you put your dick in a girl like putting on "The ring" you become the ruler of her "Middle Earth". - Andrew, New Jersey

Lost Cause - Getting to know a hot girl and spending a lot of time with them to find out they have devoted their life to abstinence. - Reese

Lost Goat (aka "Snake Skin") - The act of staying inside her after sex until you go limp, then pulling out leaving behind your condom and its contents. - Wadtron

Lost Sailor (aka "Man Overboard") - Blowing a load in a swimming pool. - 1114 SoFo

Louis Armstr*ng (see also "Dizzy G*llespie") - When your ass is being eaten / licked and you fart in their mouth, forcing the person's cheeks to bulge out like the great trumpet player Louis Armstr*ng. - Greg S, New Jersey

Louisiana Lagger - You take a cup and you shit in it and piss in it at the same time so it is nice and dark. Make someone drink it while they're drunk and tell them the next morning..."I GAVE YOU THE LOUISIANA LAGGER" - Spencer E, New Orleans

Louisville Slugger - Your girl is on her knees in front of you servicing your pole. At some random point in time during this act you pull out, twist your hips, yell "BATTER UP!!!!" and smack her firmly in the cheek with your baseball bat like cock.

Love Noodles - When a girl's giving you head and right about when you are gonna blow your load, you pull down on her head so hard that she blows your load out her nose. - J.P.A. Pennsylvania

Lower Decker - When you take a piece of cellophane and stretch it across the toilet rim and let the lid down and when someone tries to take a leak or dump they get it all over them. - Jeff W, Georgia

LSC Fuck (Lower Social Class Fuck) - Fucking a girl to improve her social status at school and to make her feel better about herself. HEHEHE! - Students of Maryvale High

Lucky Pierre - The middle man in a three way butt fuck. - Wadtron

Lucky Pierre's Magic Whistle - The middle man in a three way butt fuck who's also blowing another guy's brains out. - Mikey M, Brooklyn

Lucky Shirley - First of all, find a porta-potty (chemical outdoor toilet), a real filthy one, and proceed to have doggystyle sex (directly over the gaping hole down to shit) in there with pretty much whoever (but to work properly it must be HUMAN). As you're pounding away you occasionally pull off the 40 oz. beer you have provided for yourself, then pour some down their ass crack, then drink some more,etc.,etc... Just as you are about to blow jizz, start pouring more on their ass and slamming the beer interchangeably until, synchronized, you polish off the beer and deposit a load all over them. Then, to top it all off, bonk them on the back of the head with the empty 40 oz. (variant of the "Donkey Punch") and then drop them into the shit. - Von S, Oregon

Luke Sk*walker - Playing "Swords" with your buddies, while pissing on your lady friend. - Mr. Blue, Minnesota

Lumberjack Slap - While tagging it doggystyle, you initiate a "Donkey Punch", you realize she hasn't gone down for the count, so you immediately break out your trusty chainsaw, cut down the nearest, beefiest, piece of American lumber you can get your naughty mitts on, put on your favorite flannel shirt, get back on your saddle, tell your lady friend you're sorry, and right when she's about to climax, you ring her melon with your new found buddy, toss it over your shoulder and step on her back in victory.

Lunchlady - With a hot naked chick on her back, proceed to shit on your hand while wearing a plastic glove. Then flop it on her chest similar to how lunchladies serve food.

A - B - C - D - E - F - G - H - I - J - K - L - M - N - O - P - Q - R - S - T - U - V - W - X - Y - Z - Thesaurus - TOP

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