Glossary of Perversion M

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The terms in the following Glossary are for amusement only and should in no way, under any circumstances, carried out or attempted on anyone or anything!
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M A - B - C - D - E - F - G - H - I - J - K - L - M - N - O - P - Q - R - S - T - U - V - W - X - Y - Z - Thesaurus - TOP

Machine Gun Kelly (aka "Christmas Turkey Carver", "Shocker") - You stick two fingers into a girl's pussy, and one in her ass, then ream her repeatedly. - C

Macgyver - When you are about to fuck a chick and you realize you don't have a condom, you cover your dick with whatever is around like a stick of gum or duct tape. - Steve, New York

Mackinac Mud Pie - You're titty fucking a chick .....right as you launch your offering.....simultaneously shit in her face. - Kress & Randallons, Michigan

Magic Bullet (aka "JFK") - Slip a blindfold on a chick while she is giving you oral. At the same time, have a friend come behind her and pleasure himself behind her. Let 'em rip at the same time and nail the broad with goo from both sides of her head. She will always question if there was a second shooter or just a magic load. - Cousin PJ, Brooklyn

Magic Carpet - In her toilet put a thick amount of toilet paper then take a huge shit and put down the lid. When she goes to use the toilet and opens the lid she should see what is referred to as a "Magic Carpet".

Magiver - When you are sleeping with a girl and then you wake up, pop a rod, and slap her in the throat then she spits up your cum. - Hockeefreek91

Mailbox - This term is used mostly in place of a vagina. When a female claims to have "Takin' it in the mailbox", she is obviously talking about herself being screwed senseless. Also when a male says "I put it in her mailbox", he is referring to his penis, in her vagina. - Benjamin Goroncy, & Matthew G, Pennsylvania

Mall Santa - Depending on your gender and stage in life, this is someone who appears innocuous but is actually a sexual predator. So it could be innocent looking good-girl that is actually a man-eating hydra; or a woman who is actually a male, child-molesting birthday clown. - McWopper, Mr. President, Squanto, Ling-Ling, Wilcro, Big Ju and the rest of the A-team

Man Eater - Anything involving getting a rim-job while listening to Hall & Oates. - Mr. Blue, Minnesota

Man Overboard (aka "Lost Sailor") - Blowing a load in a swimming pool. - 1114 SoFo

Mandal (see also "Mandalize") - The man doing the "Mandalizing".

Mandalize (see also "Mandal") - Being groped or other unwanted touching by a man.

Manhattan Clam Chowder - When you are drunk and you go down on a girl only to find out that she is on the rag. After you puke into her box, it is called a "Manhattan Clam Chowder".

Manhattan Special - The gay act of shaking up a bottle of Manhattan Special coffee flavored soda and opening it up in partner's asshole so it explodes up in there like an enema. - Vocal

Mangry - Describing the anger of women who are angry at men, specifically. "She's such a bitch, she's just plain mangry."

Map of Hawaii - When you cum on a girl's body, particularly the backside, and you leave little islands of cum on the girl's back, looking like a map of Hawaii.

Marie Gastritis (aka "Lithuanian Toilet Paper") - When a girl is giving you a "Blumpkin" or just a regular blow job, and you take a shit, you turn around and wipe your ass with her face.

Marksmanship Training - Perform a pseudo "Dirty Sanchez" on her butt, but instead of a mustache, draw a bullseye around your woman's ass and fire away.

Martha's Vineyard (see also "Anh*user Bush", "Brew Master") - The same idea as "Anh*user Bush" except that you are shoving a wine bottle up her ass. - Lock Haven White Trash

Martin Van B*ren Panties - When a woman doesn't shave or wax her bikini area, the hair creeping out from under her panties and growing on her inner thighs resembles the muttonchops worn by the Eighth President of the United States. - TPM

Martyr (see also "Crucifixion" and "Crucifixion with a stake in it") - The "Martyr" is the receiver of the dicks in a "Crucifixion". - Dirty Suarez

Matrix - This is when you shove a spoon up a girl's ass, and she responds by saying, "did you just stick a spoon up my ass?" You kindly respond by saying, "There is no spoon." - Steve, New York

Mazzeltav - At Jewish weddings, the ceremony is usually ended by breaking a glass after the vows are taken. Bang a Jewish girl. Proceed to ejaculate into a glass bottle, and after you finish, place the bottle next to her face and kick her in the head, shattering the bottle. Mazzeltav! - JIGGAMAN

McD*nald's Quick Draw - Get your girlfriend to talk dirty into the intercom, making the order guy start to beat off. Then while pulling up to the window, have her give you felatio till you are about to blow your beefy chunk-load. Upon pulling up to the window, tell your girl friend to yell "Draw!". Then on "three", both you and the guy blow your loads either on her or each other. - Wadtron

Meat Curtains - Pussy lips that hang real low. - Merlin, MN

Meatlocker - You are getting brains in a Meat Locker. You cream in her eye and it freezes shut. - The Grundile Gang, DC

Men Without Hats - This eludes to the act of picking up a guy / girl from a bar, taking them home and fucking the shit out of 'em... then never talking to them again. Essentially, the one night stand becomes a one-hit-wonder... if you do happen to run into her / him again later and fuck'em the same it is referred to as a "Wang Chung"... everybody'll have fun that night... - Travis, Ohio

Menage et Moi - A threesome where two members forget to turn up, eg, a wank. - Captain Ridiculous, England

Metallica - The taste you get in your mouth when you are eating a girl who is on the rag. - Jimmies 34, Brooklyn

Mexican Avalanche - This is when you cum in their hair and throw them down a flight of stairs. - TWITCH

Mexican Firebomb - Same as the "Demolition Man", except everything you eat for a week has to be covered in Tabasco. - McWopper, Mr. President, Squanto, Ling-Ling, Wilcro, Big Ju and the rest of the A-team

Mexican Manicure - (for the ladies) This is similar to a French manicure, only the tips of your fingernails are brown instead of white. The great news is you don't have to pay high dollar at the salon to have it done. Just ram all ten of your fingers up your partner's asshole and you too can have a "Mexican Manicure"! - benronniger

Mexico City Rim Job - Before you start fucking a girl, you eat as many burritos, enchiladas, and other Mexican foods as you can. Commence your fucking, and when you feel your bowels moving, ask her to lick your asshole. Have here lie down flat on her back, and straddle her face, placing your asshole directly above her mouth. Let her begin tossing your salad, and you wait for the perfect time to release. When you feel her mouth completely cover your asshole, sit down on her face, leaving your asshole completely surrounded by her open mouth. Quickly release your wet, juicy shit into her mouth, giving her a sample of a genuine Mexican buffet. - JS, Lynchburg

Michael J*ckson - Lay a white girl (or guy) down and dangle your nuts over her / his face like Michael dangled the baby over the balcony. Right when your nuts are about to hit her / his face, take an extreme shit covering there whole face then remind them,"It doesn't matter if you're black or white!" - Kyle C, Florida

Michael J*hnson - Have a girl bent over against a wall, then get on the other side of the room and run full speed into her resulting in total penetration. - FLINT013

Michiro - An ancient Japanese sexual custom. While engaging in the act of butt-fucking, the male wears a pair of soiled panties on his head like a wrestling mask. - Clitch & Herps

Mickey M*ntle - Striking out so many times with a chick that it drives you to drink.

Micky Licking (aka "Doing The Horner") - The art of lickin' another man's spunk out of ya wife's cunt. - Baztheman, England

Midnight Snack - While in the missionary position, wait until your spunk junkie lets out a long scream or moan. While her mouth is open, use your index finger to clamp one of your nostrils shut and blow an air hanky of snot into her waiting mouth. A true master of this difficult technique will immediately follow his nose nuggets with a perfectly timed wad. - Kevin S, Virginia

Mighty Wombat - When doing a petite chick doggystyle, ram a wombat mask over her head as you come. Pull out quickly and grab her, one arm under her chest, the other hand under her crotch. As she struggles with the mask, heave her out the nearest window while yelling ³Wombat, AWAY!" - McWopper, Mr. President, Squanto, Ling-Ling, Wilcro, Big Ju and the rest of the A-team

Milano - After giving an Italian chick "The Shocker", you take your pinky finger and smear shit between her tits then titty fuck her. - D. Kuhn & N.Roy, Alabama

Mile High Club - Having sex in an airplane. - Jim V

Milf - Acronym for "Mom I'd Like to Fuck". Thank the boys in American Pie for that one. - Justin, Caliphornia

Milf Mustache - When, after going down on a Milf in her 50's or 60's, vaginal fluids cause her gray pubic hair to stick to your upper lip, forming a mustache. - Big Toe, California

Milk & Cookies - When there are two girls giving you oral sex, one of them is sucking your dick while the other is sucking your testicles. It's basically a combination of a blow job and a teabag. - Mike aka Nipple Gary

Milking the Cow - Have sex with a girl with a rubber on, then afterwards pull the rubber off ever so carefully so that all of your specimens are in the bottom. While she is in a post orgasm eyes-shut bliss, while laying down hold it upside down over her face and use the condom while pretending you're milking cow utters.

Milky Fire Hydrant - When you jizz in your girl's pussy and then proceed to press down very hard on her stomach and just above her pussy. It will shoot out very fast all over yourself like a fire hydrant - Platinum Ice

Milky Stilt Stand - Have the girl in a headstand position, and insert one foot in her pussy, and the other up her ass. Feel free to use her legs for balance. After attaining balance, proceed to jack off on her face. - Tiny Elvis

Milky Weigh - Preceding sexual or oral intercourse, both the male and female are weighed on a scale. Immediately following the weighing session, intercourse is commenced. After ejaculation, each individual is then weighed once again to observe how much weight is lost in the male, and gained in the female due to the exchange of semen. - Orian, Wisconsin

Millennium Falcon - With your palm flat, put four fingers in the snatch and the thumb in the exit hatch. - Rasputin

Minjeeta - A Paki Lesbian. - Roger

Missionary - Sexual position characterized by the female on the bottom and the male on the top, default sex position.

Missouri Compromise - When a girl will only let guys fuck her in the ass because she is still a "virgin". - club 1209

M.L.K. - During a marathon session when you just can't seem to get your nut off, you ask your partner to take a walk across your fleshy fun bridge (taint). You then proceed to baste her in man gravy while saying, "Free at last. Free at last. Thank God almighty, we're free at last!" Not recognized in the state of Arizona.

Moby Dick - Get a fat chick to run back and forth in front of you while you shoot wads at her.

Model "T" - When preparing to have sex, get naked and start to crank your pecker in a clock-like motion, then once it gains speed, let go and begin to jump up and down so it looks like a propeller. - Jason B, Pennsylvania

Monet - When a girl looks good from far away, but up close, she's a sloppy mess. - Kyle, Michigan

Monica L*winsky - Make sure she's wearing a low-cut dress and then have her bring you pizza. Take a Cuban cigar and roll it around in her poon, then get her on her knees and have her service you. Just as you're about to blow, pull out and knock it onto the front of her dress. Deny everything to your wife and to the world, and then listen on the ten o'clock news as her best friend recorded their conversations about you. Get really nervous as she tells everyone her girlfriend told her to save the stained dress, figure you're screwed, ask for forgiveness, almost get fired, and then after you leave your job in humiliation, move to Harlem and try to write a book as your former trophy wife now runs for Congress. (Repeat, if possible!) - Sick Johnny, Chicago

Monkey in the Middle - Ten guys wack off in a circle and a girl goes in the middle. They all shoot their juice at the same time and she tries to dodge their loads.

Monkey Love - Fucking your girl as quick and hard as you can, busting your nut all over her face / stomach / back / ass, dressing and leaving. No kissing, no hugging, just fucking; like monkeys! - LNJ, California

Monkey Punch - You are doin' a girl doggystyle. You are about to cum so you rear back and give her a double kidney jab (one on each side). No real purpose to this maneuver, but it sure sounds like fun, huh? - Travis, Ohio

Monkey Wrench - Another term for "Fisting", or the act of shoving your entire fist into an anal or oral cavity.

Monkey's Brains - Grab the bottom of your nutsack and squeeze, looks just like a monkey"s brains. - Jimbo, Grandma's Basement New York

Monroe Transfer - When the woman's back and the bed are perpendicular but she is upside down (see 'Samoan Pile Driver'), back-to-back with the right-side-up standing man. Through careful anal-orifice matching techniques, the man craps directly into the woman's upside-down pooper. - Horhey, Pennsylvania

Moose - 1) Answers the age-old question of what to do with your hands when getting a blowjob. Simply stick your thumbs in her ears and pretend she's a moose. Make her feel special by not laughing. - Joel K, Illinois
2) When nailing a girl from behind, tap her on the shoulder lightly. When she looks back, give her a sly look, then put your open hands on the sides of your head, imitating moose antlers. Squint one eye, loudly fart, then gently whisper "the moose". Proceed to blow it on her and run away. - WR, North Carolina

Moose Knuckle (see also "Ninja Foot", "Camel Toe", "Mumbler") - A girl in pants so tight, you can make out the outline of her lips.

Moped - A chick that is fun to ride when you're alone, but you wouldn't want your friends to see you ridin' her. - Gary, Texas

Morning Glory - This occurs the morning after a really good one-night-stand. You wake up sporting morning wood, and instead of getting up and going to the bathroom, you ram into your partner's ass and relieve yourself inside her. Experts can take it a step further and attempt this on their (soon to be ex-) girlfriends. - Matthew A, Bryan W, Tony O, & Tommy K, Texas

Mountain Man's Hat - A roomy, hairy and dirty vagina. - Mitch, South Carolina

Mr. Bond - A turd that refuses to get flushed ("Ah, we meet again, Mr. Bond"). - Mitch, South Carolina

Mr. Freeze - When practicing safe sex: After blowing your wad, remove the soiled condom and ring out the baby batter into the girl's mouth using the same technique you applied to a Mr. Freeze flavored-ice stick as a child. - Dirt, NYC

Mr. Spock - You're going down on a girl. Just as you reach the goods, look her straight in the eyes, cock your head to the side, furl your brow and say "Hmmm. Interesting." - Mr. Blue, Minnesota

Mr. T (see also "Kojak", "Don J*hnson", "Chewbacca") - Term used to describe the hairstyle of a pussy with a Mohawk shaving job. - Sebastian Q

MTZ - After having buttsex, give yourself head. - ORCC

Mucophagy - The act of sucking the mucus out of your partner's nose during orgasm to enhance the experience for both of you.

Mud Flow - The mixture of sperm and fecal matter leaking out of a person who has just had anal sex. - Luke, New York

Muddy Chaplin (aka "Pasty Adolph") - A version of the "Dirty Sanchez" in which you remove your thumb from the girl's anus and rub it against her upper lip in one smooth downswipe from nose to lip. - Pigknuckle

Mudflaps - Balls on a gay man. - Tony, Minnesota

Mudslide - 1) Titty fucking a girl while sitting on top of her, then getting up to find skid marks on her stomach. - Marvelli
2) (aka "Bianco Dip") - Start by catching a girl shitting on a toilet. Shove her off and sniff her head (or somethin' retarded to distract her while your buddy picks her shit out of the toilet). You then persuade her to sleep with you. When you finally accomplish this (which most people who are reading this probably never will) you grab the poop from your buddy and SMOOSH it all over her cooch. Then, you bang her like a Nicaraguan crack fiend. - DJ LUNCHTABLE

Muff-Gut (aka "Gunt", "FUPA", "Footy") - The unsightly pouch a female carries right above her pussy.

Muff Trumpet (see also "Cunt Trumpet") - When you're eating a girl out, you blow really hard into her pussy than press her stomach down and it will make the soothing sound of a trumpet. - Platinum Ice

Moh*mmed Ali - (for a girl) While giving your soon to be ex-boyfriend a hummer, start punching his nutsack as if it were a punching bag.

Mulk - Two people dig up a women's grave and one jumps on her chest while the other eats her out. - Chuckstu P

Mumbler (see also "Moose Knuckle", "Ninja Foot", "Camel Toe") - A girl in pants that are too tight (you can see the lips moving but you can't make out what they're saying).

Munging - (way too sick for us, but we'll add it anyway...) 1) Involves two people and one female corpse, one person gets down on her as though to perform oral sex, the other person jumps on the corpse's stomach and the first person eats whatever comes out. - Brad K, Maryland
2) addendum, The female corpse should be pregnant. The object to be eaten is the unborn fetus.

Mushroom Welt (aka "Mushroom Tattoo") - When a chick's going down on you, you pull it out, pull it back and whip her in the forehead with it....thus.... a "Mushroom Welt". - Peanut Butter, Piqua

Mushroom Tattoo (aka "Mushroom Welt") - when a chick's going down on you, you pull it out, pull it back and whip her in the forehead with it....thus.... a "Mushroom Tattoo".

Mustard Bomb - When a guy gives the "Gas Mask" to a girl, and then shits on her forehead, "BMD" style. - The Phynn

Mustard Gas - When a guy gives the "Gas Mask" to a girl, and then farts on her forehead. - The Phynn

My Cup of Tea - You piss into someone's asshole (preferable after the person has just taken a huge crap) and then you let the piss flow out into a cup and serve it to an unexpecting person. Add sugar if needed. - Jay K.

Mystery Date - Planting an empty condom wrapper in your friend's bed (preferably female) after they black out, and telling them they were hitting on some freak the night before. - Timmy B, Fairfield U.

A - B - C - D - E - F - G - H - I - J - K - L - M - N - O - P - Q - R - S - T - U - V - W - X - Y - Z - Thesaurus - TOP

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