Glossary of Perversion S

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The terms in the following Glossary are for amusement only and should in no way, under any circumstances, carried out or attempted on anyone or anything!
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Saber-Toothed Tiger - When a chick has two dicks in her mouth, it gives the presence of two big teeth. To add to this effect, bust in her mouth to make your dicks white.

Sack Attack - The act of pulling just your balls out of your zipper, then while a chick is sleeping, shoving them in her mouth. - Pimpsta866

Saddlebagging - When you drape your scrotum across the "taint" (space between the ass and vagina) and bury a testicle in each hole. - Gorillawhore

Safe Sex - Being prepared with duct tape and bungee cords so you don't get stuck while romping an overweight honey. - Jared C, California

Sailboat Shooter - When you stretch out your ballsack into a sort of cup, pour in a shot of rum, and have a girl take the shot. - Dirty K.C.

Salami Roll-Up - When you are forking someone, take a piece of salami and rap it around your yoo-hoo, preceed to have sex, it prevents from pregnancy and STD's. If you are a vegetarian, use lettuce. - Jefferson, Athens

Sally Dog - 1) The act of cock-slapping a bitch in the face. - Dan, Nebraska
2) You get any course grit of sandpaper preferably 50-100. You proceed to tape it to your palm and start beating your little man like there is no tomorrow. Right when you are about to blow it, pour salt on the bloody mess. This will enhance the orgasm, but it isn't for the weak of heart because the sight of a bloody cock has been known to send men into shock.

Salty Rain - When a girl is giving you head in the shower and you squeeze a little bit of piss on her face leaving her with a salty taste in her mouth. - Jon D, Texas

Salty Sailor - A perennial bar favorite: This stealthy game involves attempting to inconspicuously dump a packet of salt down the butt-crack of a hot girl as she's sitting on a bar stool facing the bar. This game has provided hours and hours of entertainment! - Mr. Blue, Minnesota

Salty Susan - When a man is having anal sex with a women, and just before he blows his load, spits on her back. He pulls out, and she then proceeds to turn around, at which point he explodes right in her eye. - SlipknotDrone66

Samoan Pile Driver - A sexual position that occurs when the woman's back and the bed are perpendicular but she is upside down. The practitioner of the Pile Driver stands above the woman and points his shit due south, simply bending his knees for repeated bludgeoning. This process is repeated while screaming, "Adaay.... goony, goony, goony... ABDAY...ABDAY....ABDAY..HA!" Repeat and rinse. - Horhey, Pennsylvania

San Fran Tickler - Straddling a girl's head and titty fucking her while she tickles your asshole with her tongue. - KEEB07

San Jose Chili Dog - Taking a shit in a girl's cleavage and then fucking it. - Jay, Jersey City

Sand Blaster - Cum on a girl's face and throw sand in it.

Sand Paper Treatment - When your girlfriend is sleeping, run your forearm across her dry beaver as hard and rough as you can. She'll wake up screaming like she has just been scraped with sand paper. Works great after a good-bye fuck on a chick you just caught cheating on you. - Gabe T, New York

Sand-Wich - First you need a big, fat woman (or man, which ever way you float). This individual should weigh somewhere in the range of 400 to 800 pounds for best results. You then place the individual in a plastic jump suit and have him / her run a good distance until you can't even bare the thought of how sweaty their asshole must be. Then you can go to either a public park with a sandbox, or the beach. Have the individual then proceed to pour sand into the crack of their own asshole (the sand should stick nicely considering how sweaty their ass should be after the aforementioned running...). Finally you begin eating the sand out of the ass making it a perfect Sand... Wich. - Steve, New Jersey

Sandman - Sneak into a girl's room who has recently given you blue balls. Beat off and release a load directly around the eyes ensuring that upon drying, the fluids will seal the eyes shut, she will wake up thinking the sandman had paid her a visit or two. - Eric T., Michiga

Sandy Pelican - When you are boning a girl on the beach and you pull out, stick it in the sand, and put it back in her. - Patrick, Massachusetts

Santorum - The juices that leak from your ass after anal sex, usually made up of anal lubricant, sperm, and shit. i.e. "When she got up from the bed she had santorumed all over the sheets." onymous

Saturday Night Bowler - Another classic; take your pointer and middle fingers and insert into her vagina while tou fuck her ass with your thumb. - Jerry, Ohio

Scabby D - The unfortunate occurrence for a male, due to a practice of dry fucking in blue jeans, sans undergarments. One of the most feared of all sexual accidents. - Horhey, Pennsylvania

Scared Moose - This is the act of pulling out of your girl when you are giving it to her doggystyle and sticking it in her ass, making her jolt and make a facial expression like that of a scared moose. Best to do in front of a mirror where you can see her face. - Studicle, AUB,KS

Scat - Any sex involving shit.

Schmegma - The miscellaneous lint found in the foreskin of an uncircumcised penis. - Danny, Massachusetts

Scooter Pie - When one of your friends passes out drunk... you and your friends take turns rubbing your bare asses up and down his face. - Dave, Florida

Scott B*kula - When you are bangin' a fat chick and can't get a nut, you shut off the lights and then have a buddy come in and take your place as the stand in. - Guy J, New Jersey

Scott N*rwood (aka "Ray Finkle") - While aiming to shoot a load between her eyes, you miss her totally and go wide right. Named for the Field Goal kicker who missed wide right. - Lams

Schlong Scissors (aka "Chopsdicks") - When a girl is giving a doubleheader and she grabs both dicks and squeezes repeatedly to give the appearance of scissors. - Jason B, Pennsylvania

Score - When an American guy has sex, this act is called "Scoring" (plural) but when an American reaches the age of 50, he is all "scored out", men rarely have sex after that age... Note: This cannot happen with Lesbians / Bisexuals. - Benjamin G, & Jordan I, Pennsylvania

Scork - The act of sucking on your own cock. - Jake, Nebraska

Scramble for Africa - Take a shit on yours girl's asshole, pound it in there with your dick, then top it off by spoogin' in her asshole. The white man invaded the dark continent.

Scranus (see also "Taint", "Dirty Inch", "Chode", "Choad", "Grundel", "Nacho") - The area located between the back of the sack and the front of the rectum. - Jeff M, Arizona

Screaming Seagull (aka "Chicken Cutlet", "Veal Cutlet") - When a man is having sex with a girl on the beach, then pulls out, uses the juices on his schlong to roll it around in the sand to collect it and then continue to have sex. - Brian, Florida

Screwnicorn - When a dyke puts her strap-on dildo on her forehead and proceeds to go at her partner like a crazed unicorn. - Wadtron

Scrimpin' (aka "Skrimpin'") - The act of sucking another man's man juice out of your boyfriend's ass (through a straw) after he is buttbanged by a complete stranger, common among correctional facility inmates. - Jeff G, Missouri

Scroatee - When you shave off your top pubes and leave the lower ones. - Dirty K.C.

Scrog - The act of having sex. - Steve, Nebraska

Scuba - During a blowjob, right before climax, jam it in her nose and yell, "DIVE, DIVE, DIVE!"

Scud Missile (aka "Cock Block") - When a guy interrupts another from getting laid, and tags the girl himself. - Jim V

Scuffer - Usually a chick from upstate New York, who goes to the clubs, and loiters in front of the men's rest room. She waits for the bathroom to clear, and then she heads to the urinal. She takes the biggest pubic hair off the rim, and eats the white piece of meat off of it. - Greg, Manhattan

Seal the Envelope - When hooking up with a really drunk girl and she passes out before you cum, turn her over and blow your load all over her ass crack. When it dries, it will seal her butt cheeks together and she will have to pry them open the next day - hence, "Sealing the Envelope".

Second Base (see also "Baseball Rules", "First Base", "Leading Off Second", "Third Base", "Rounding Third", "Reaching Home", and "Home Run") - Dating status of (by popular recognition) the couple have partaken in making out, playing with boobs and heavy petting including but not limited to fingering the girl, and stroking the guy. No orgasms generally happen at "Second Base". If climax is reached it is known as "Leading Off Second".

Secret Santa - Sneaking stealthily into a women¹s dorm / floor in the dark of night and randomly jerking off on the ladies' faces without awaking them. - McWopper, Mr. President, Squanto, Ling-Ling, Wilcro, Big Ju and the rest of the A-team

Seeing the Eye Dog - This one's tricky. When you get a blind girl to go down on you but instead, she unknowingly sucks off her German Shepherd. - Doug

Seventy One - Basically, 69 with two fingers up the ass. - FBB4U, Israel

Sewer Lid - Although hopelessly complex and incredibly degrading, here¹s the scoop. Begin a threesome, preferably with two hags. Make sure they just had a large, Mexican food-based meal and are rumbling in the intestines. Have Girl #1 service you orally while Girl #2 sits on the sidelines. Keep Girl #1 occupied with your furious jet of ejaculate while you suddenly grab Girl #2¹s head and duct tape it to Girl #1¹s ass. Remove your equipment from the premises and punch Girl #1 repeatedly in the stomach. Stringent defecation will probably result and Girl #2¹s head will serve as the proverbial ³sewer lid.² - McWopper, Mr. President, Squanto, Ling-Ling, Wilcro, Big Ju and the rest of the A-team

Sex'n'Scat - When banging a girl in any way and dropping a greasy brown one at the same time. - Chris, Washington

S.F.S. (aka "Shovel Face Syndrome") - A condition found predominantly in females where the girl possesses an amazing body, but when you see her face, it looks as if she has been bludgeoned repeatedly with a steel shovel. - The Boys at the University of Delaware

Shadow Boxing - The act of going down on a black girl. - Steve-O

Shadow of the Beast - Curling off a "hot snake" on someone else's welcome mat. - 1114 SoFo

Shanghai Shampoo - Fuck a chick until you've built up a load large enough to paint a room. Blow it all in her hair, rub it in thoroughly. When it dries it will resemble the crunchy noodles often served with chop suey.

Shanghai Stirfry - When a girl gives you a blowjob, pukes all over your cock, and keeps going.

Shanghai Surprise - When you cum in a girl's hair and don't tell her about it, then it dries and sticks straight up. - Jeff, Rapid City

Shark Feeding (see also, "Bunkbed Buccaneer", "Walking the Plank", "Rollover", "Herman M*lville", "Getting Ahabed", "Red Beard", "Treasure Chest", "Ahab's Revenge", "Francis Dr*ke", "Land Lubber") - If you should find a boyfriend aboard, cock-slap him repeatedly and throw him overboard, hopefully to the ugly hags residing on the bottom bunk or on the floor. - McWopper, Mr. President, Squanto, Ling-Ling, Wilcro, Big Ju and the rest of the A-team

Sharnute - It's the Italian and English language mixed together meaning the shark (strong and aggressive) and Cornute (the Hexx). This means putting two fingers in the pink and one in the stink at the same time...with the bent thumb to hit the little man in the canoe...

Shenendoah - Urinating or cumming on your partner's cleavage, preferably while they are sitting upright, creating a white water affect between the cleavage, or valley...

Shit Dick - After you finish bangin' a chick in the pooper, you "clean" your schlong off in her mouth. - Mark F, New York

Shit Pig - A woman so ugly, it hurts to look at her. - Pat B, Massachusetts

Shit Smasher - Get the girl to get in the doggystyle position and have her start taking a shit. Just as the turd starts to poke out, ram your cock in her asshole and fuck her wildly. - Master Pipe, Kentucky

Shit Spit - The residue left dripping after a vigorous, saliva-assisted ass fingering. - Chad T, Kansas

Shit Stabber (aka "Uphill Gardener", "Anal Invader") - One who enjoys poking around in the chocolate starfish. - Mitch, South Carolina

Shit Storm - Give a girl an enema, then immediately shove your cock in her ass and let the shit water fly out past your dick. Can be modified using an umbrella and rubbers. - Shawn, Oklahoma

Shock and Awe (aka "Taintflicker") - A variation of the "Shocker". Once you have your two in the pink and one firmly planted in the stink, take your ring finger and begin to vigorously flick that "taint". - Robotomus Clam

Shocker - Two in the Pink and one in the Stink. Stimulate the clitoris with your thumb for extra voltage. - Brett, Piqua

Shooting Star - Shoving your forearm up a chick and then opening up your fist inside her. Hence, a "Shooting Star".

Short in the Cord - A "code" phrase used by the common man to refer to Testicular Tendon Tangle Syndrome. Ex. "Oh fuck! My nuts are killing me... I think I've got a short in the cord."

Shovel Face Syndrome (aka "S.F.S.") - A condition found predominantly in females where the girl possesses an amazing body, but when you see her face it looks as if she has been bludgeoned repeatedly with a steel shovel. - The Boys at the University of Delaware

Shrimping - Bang'em down in the rear, then, after you bust, take a straw and suck out the jizz / poo mixture. What comes out resembles a shrimp. Performed in prisons mostly I hear. - Mike C, Florida

Siamese Twins - You take your balls, and you stuff them into her pussy. They will become lodged there, swollen, and unable to be retrieved. You will have no choice but to walk around with her connected, the two of you resembling "Siamese Twins". - Andrew D, Princeton U

Sick Shocker - Two for the Bloody Puss, and Three for the Colostomy Bag...

Sidewinder - Fucking a girl from behind while you are on your sides...."my signature move" - Peter G, New York

Silence of the Clams - Secretly masturbate in a dark place to the point of no return then pretend to have a seizure while mumbling. Then when someone approaches to make sure you're ok, throw a handful of slap juice in their face and hair and yell: "Hello Clarice!" - Jason B, Pennsylvania

Silencer - 1) Placing your first two fingers over your anus to muffle the sound of a fart. A strategic move in class, a meeting, or any other place that cutting a loud one wouldn't be appropriate and you just have to relieve yourself. - Reid G., Georgia
2) When you shove your girl's vibrator so far up her ass that you can't hear it anymore. - Greg, California

Simpson - (must be having sex with a surviving relative of an O.J. S*mpson victim) While fucking them from behind, you grab on real tight when you are about to blow it and yell, "If the glove don't fit, you must acquit!" Proceed to see how long you can hold on. - AB, Pennsylvania

Singapore Subway - When you stick a PVC pipe down a girl's ass and run micro-machines down it. - patvoytko

Sit and Spin - When a big guy is fucking a girl who is so small, that she could sit on his dick and spin around as he slaps her ass to keep her going. - Chris L & Jon C, Illinois

Six Packin' - When your girl is too drunk to walk home so you put one finger in her snapper and your thumb in her ass and carry her home like a six pack of beer. - Lock Haven White Trash

Six-Point-Nine - Performing the "69" while your ladyfriend is having her period ("a sixty-nine interrupted by a period, thus, a 6.9"). - Tony, Minnesota

Sixser - You need to drink a six pack of beer to make her look hot. - Dylan

Sixty-Eight - The act where the female gives a blow job and after the male cums he tells her that he owes her one. Hence the term, 68 plus 1.

Sixty-Nine - When two people perform oral sex on each other. Simulates the look of the numeral, "69".

Skid-Mark - (This works best when there is snow on the ground) After you're done fuckin' a chick and she is still naked, shit in your hand and smear it all over her face. Then pick her up and throw her out in the snow so she lands on her face making a shit stain in the snow that looks like a skid mark in your underwear - intercaust

Skidmarks - When you take a shit and forget to wipe and then titty fuck a girl leaving a trail of skidmarks behind you. - Mark (Chad) P

Skin Chin - A chin that is beat-up or "skinned" as the result of being the receiver during severe doggystyle sex. - Bad Ass, Colorado River

Skipoling - A girl jerking off two guys at once, hence, looks like she has two ski poles.

Skipper (aka "Captain Bob", "SS Minnow") - The act of rubbing your fingers on the musky clam of a skank hootchie mamma then sneaking a whiff at random intervals until you've had the opportunity to wash your hands. (Unless you never wash your hands, hoping to relive the moment as long as the smell lingers.) - M, Iowa

Skrimpin' (aka "Scrimpin') - The act of sucking another man's man juice out of your boyfriend's ass (through a straw) after he is buttbanged by a complete stranger, common among correctional facility inmates. - Jeff G, Missouri

Skull Fuck - (we here at Get Offended.com have no fuckin' clue where you guys get some of this shit... please folks don't try this one at home) During oral sex, reach down at your partner's face, and gouge out an eyeball. Proceed to take your dick and fuck the socket. After you splooge in the socket, go get a raisin and colored icing (the same color as the other eye), and make a replacement eyeball. Make her stay in that position until the splooge dries, and she has a semen-processed eyeball. - cond7464
2) The act of slitting someone's throat and then humping the cut. - Craig, New Jersey

Skullching (aka "Coal Miner") - Take a dump in your chick's mouth, then get face down on top of her face. Engage in oral sex with her, deeply penetrating, as if you were trying to dig out all of the "coal". - Andy & Dan's House of Pain

Skunk - When you get head from a black / brunette haired chick, then right as you are about to cum, you pull out and shoot a straight line of man juice on her head, thus giving her the look of a skunk. For an added extra, you can spin around and rip an unsuspecting fart in her face, making her a total skunk. - Fartman, JFK, Tittymonster

Slasher - When doing a chick from behind, reach around and slash her throat just as you're about to bust, allowing her thrashing to bring you to climax. - Elizabeth, North Carolina

Slauncher - When a girl is about to puke from alcohol consumption, you open your window and let her stick her head out. You then pull off her pants and fuck her. When she turns around and looks at who just fucked her, you cum (or slaunch you're load) all over her face. - Squiggles, TRobb, J$, and Boner Thugs at Bentley College

Sled-Doggin' It (aka "Railin' It") - Doing somebody doggystyle, slapping their ass rhythmically. Oftentimes "Sled-doggin' It" results in a "skin chin" for the victim. - Bad Ass, Colorado River

Sleeping Bag - If you're going down on a really fat girl, you pull her enormous stomach roll of fat over your head. - Wadtron

Sleeping Beauty - While someone is sleeping, proceed to put your penis in there mouth. - Zimm, Minnesota

Slim Pickens (aka ³Kamikaze Run²) - Same as the "Killer Angel", except that when you start shitting, you let go of the chandelier or fan and ride down with your bomb. - McWopper, Mr. President, Squanto, Ling-Ling, Wilcro, Big Ju and the rest of the A-team

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